Guide to Supporting Children after a School Shooting

Child: Daddy, why did my teacher say we have to practice hiding in the classroom?

Dad: That’s a really good question, baby. Sometimes schools practice things just to make sure everyone knows how to stay safe—like when we practice fire drills.

Child: But it wasn’t a fire drill… we had to be really quiet and sit in the corner.

Dad: I know, sweetheart. That’s called a safety drill. Sometimes in the world, people make really bad choices and can hurt others. Your school wants to make sure you and your friends know what to do to stay safe, just in case.

Child: Will that happen at my school?

Dad: Most likely, no. Schools should be very safe places. The drills aren’t because something will happen, but because being prepared helps keep everyone calm and safe—just like practicing for a storm when the sun is shining.

Child: But what if I get scared?

Dad: It’s okay to feel scared. If that happens, you can remember a few things: stay close to your teacher, follow their directions, and remember that Daddy and lots of grown-ups work hard every day to keep kids safe.

Child: So if something bad happened, my teacher would keep me safe?

Dad: Yes. Your teacher, your principal, the helpers at school—every single one of them would do everything they can to protect you. And I’m always here to talk about your feelings after.

Child: Can I tell my friends if they’re scared too?

Dad: Absolutely. You can remind them that drills are just practice and that they aren’t alone. Sometimes being a kind friend makes everyone feel stronger.

Child: Okay… I feel better, Daddy.

Dad: I’m glad, baby. Remember, being safe doesn’t just mean following rules—it also means knowing you can talk to me about anything that makes you worried.

[#Parenting2025](https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/parenting2025?__eep__=6&__cft__%5b0%5d=AZVhHtuOZG9kTXMFbEE-MOX3Xvony47zOxRNY0X2L_mvR0LCkkqyAgrTQCAK5KUxCFe1Dx3ieWwHfg3GGq_OkLEbM4Yh5F32X_Ag56Yqux6Fy8-gL1htofQUFRHPw4jviH2I28Pg6lBq-V6nukGkk7ObDqxoU0zj6DbpI4rgb6NEL68PYmX5BoFVb-yt_6tQOJA&__tn__NK-y-R) #Parenting #LifeOfDaddy

Supporting Our Youngest after a Community Tragedy

As community clinicians working with children ages birth through five, we understand the challenges families face after extremely stressful events. We want to offer support to families whose young children may have been impacted directly or indirectly by recent shootings.

Understanding Indirect Exposure

Indirect exposure can take many forms. For example, children might have been in a car that was stopped by police during the search for a suspect. Others may have needed to shelter in place, or they might have seen the events unfold through the media.

What to Say to Young Children

It can be tough to know what to say to a young child when complicated adult events occur. We don’t want to overwhelm them with too much information, but we also know they may need us to answer their questions and calm their fears.

Simple, Reassuring Statements

Use simple, true statements to clarify and reassure. This can support a young child, along with nurturing, providing comfort, and maintaining familiar routines. Young children look to their primary caregivers to help them understand their experiences and feelings. They are most concerned about whether they are safe and if their caregivers are okay. They also seek explanations for what has happened and why everyone is upset. Remember, your own emotional regulation helps create a safe and supportive space for your child.

Examples for Recent Shootings

A Simple Explanation

A person (a person with problems or a person who does very bad things) hurt some people very badly. We are very worried about them and if they will be okay. The police found the person so that they can’t hurt anyone else.

Explanation of a Specific Experience

The police stopped our car to make sure we didn’t know anything about the person who hurt the people.

Dad is crying because he is very sad this happened. Dad will be okay. He is just very worried and sad right now.

Reassurance of Safety

We had to stay in our house until that person was found.

Lots of police officers and other people worked hard to find this person. They found them and put them in jail. They are keeping this person away from other people. Now they can’t hurt other people.

Opening the Door to Feelings

That was really scary, and we might all worry for a while. If you feel worried, mad, or sad, you can talk to us about that.

Reassurance that Such Events Are Rare

Most people in the world are good.

This person had a lot of problems, and things like this don’t usually happen.

This person was looking for particular people to hurt. We don’t know why, but we do know they were not looking for us. Most of the people they were looking for are safe.

Monitoring Media Exposure

Be mindful of children’s access to media and adult conversations that could be scary. Young children often can’t distinguish whether an event is still happening when it is replayed over and over on news programs.

I see you look worried.

We can turn this off.

That isn’t happening again – they are just talking about what happened yesterday.

Mom and I will stop talking about this. Were you feeling worried? We are safe now.

Additional Resources

An excellent resource on this topic can be found at the National Child Traumatic Stress Network at this link: National Child Traumatic Stress Network.

Developed by a group of Child Parent Psychotherapy clinicians in Minnesota on 6/18/25. Thank you to Chandra Ghosh Ippen for assistance in developing this article.